As much as I love my son and will always love him forever and forever… there are times where I don’t exactly “like” him. At first my thought to myself was “oh man I’m a horrible parent to think such things!” But in the end its human nature to have those moments where you imagine leaving your crying, screaming, little monster in the car so you can just have a few moments of silence to yourself.
The first time I had the thought of not liking my son was when he was just a baby, he was having a very hard night, he had cried for what seemed like hours. I was over tired and over emotional, I remember I started crying at thought “what have I done? I‘m supposed to love you and right now I really don‘t like you.” I was finally able to settle him down after some soothing words and singing and moved on thinking the worst had passed…I was wrong.
As a toddler my son has ruined expensive make-up palettes, stained carpets (and not JUST carpets), broken incredibly expensive toys, and has given me quite a few of those moments where I really haven’t liked him.
Today’s moment of severe dislike came as I found myself sick once again, battling this ongoing virus. I was hunched over the porcelain throne puking up bile when my son walks into the bathroom. I thought to myself “awe he’s going to comfort his mommy” well instead he grabbed the top of the toilet lid and slammed it down on my head. At that moment I really didn’t like him, in fact the thought occurred of grabbing him by his feet and giving him a swirly. Instead I used a colourful word and told him to get out of the bathroom and learned my lesson that I need to either lock the bathroom door or move to the sink.
At that moment I really didn’t like him but in my heart I still held that eternal love for him. Could any other parent say that they’ve never had that feeling where their child has angered them to the point of you disliking them (or rather their actions and bad choices.)