A Note To Parents: Teach Your Kid To Wipe Their Butt Before Kindergarten

What I am about to describe is a very personal look at my work life… and unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened, in fact it happens every single year, so parents, PLEASE teach your kids this important lesson.

So… I was at work today and one of my younger kindgergarteners Ty comes up to me and says Nikki I have to go to the bathroom real bad! I tell him to please go and wait… a few moments later Mrs. Richards walks by and asks if I have someone in the bathroom, I tell her that indeed I do, she then tells me that Ty is calling for help… I walk over to the bathroom across the hallway and this is the event as it unfolds:

Me: Ty, what’s wrong? Why are you calling for help?

Ty: Because I can’t wipe my bum, mommy does it for me!

Me: … (dammit I have to do this again?) Ty you need to be a big boy and do this yourself, take some toilet paper, not a lot and try to reach back and wipe your bum.

(at this point the rest of the kindergarten teachers have gathered round to chuckle as I do this, I wonder if they have anything better to do… but they don’t.)

Ty: Then what?

Me: Keep wiping, is there poop still on the toilet paper?

Ty: Yes, a little.

Me: Then keep wiping until there’s no more.

(a few minutes pass.)

Ty: Okay there’s no more poo!

Me: Great job Ty! Now you need to flush the toilet and wash your hands really well with soap and water.

(by this time the teachers have died of laughter and have told me that I need to write a book.)

Ty comes out of the bathroom, I ask if he’s all good to go, he says yes and I tell him that he has some homework to do and to work on wiping his own bum (yes, I am have this conversation.) He agrees and we walk back to the classroom.


On another note I told his mom about this when he was picked up in which she burst out laughing and said to him “see I told you that you’d have to poop at school one day and that you’d find yourself stuck in the bathroom because your teacher can’t wipe your bum!”

About vanitymom

I'm here to talk about not only the joys of motherhood but also the (not so much joys) of living in a high society world that you're judged upon your looks... where I live you need to be a 7 to gain beach access, an 8 to walk around half naked in the summertime and atleast a 9 to hold your head up high. I'm Vanity Mom. I will be talking about things such as parenting (of course) beauty tips for moms, exercise, and eating healthy... all while doing this with a kid biting the hell out of your leg because he's teething.
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