Earned A New Parent Badge, The “Puke” Badge.

Well… I earned a new parent badge last night, the badge you receive once you watch your child project vomit all over like the scene from The Exorcist and then end up wearing it. It only took 20 months but little mister was being a piggy last night and ended up eating way too much and upon finishing his 2nd bottle before bed proceeded to puke up the gnarliest smelling puke ever. Not only was I lucky to get it in my hair put also down my silk nightgown as it his more body than material, right down the front and ALL the way down. I cringed and did the first thing I could think of, grab child, run for bathroom, place in bathtub. This was after he puked all over himself, myself, his bed and the floor. I ran the tub with him in his pyjama’s so most of the puke went down the drain and then proceeded in getting in the tub with him and washing both ourselves off. At this time my sick husband (I’m sure he was feeling EXTRA queasy after watching that display) cleaned up the nursery as I cleaned up the kid. Of course after puking baby boy feels a million times better and doesn’t feel like he needs to go to bed now, I oblige as I send my husband to bed and deal with a beast whom has been starving for weeks on end. I didn’t exactly want to feed him again since he just puked 20 gallons of sour smelling milk and cottage cheese up all over the place. So it’s actually 9:45pm Thursday night, hubby is in bed and I FINALLY got our son to sleep. Mom’s ready for a drink but I think I’ll just unwind with some television and call it a night. Here’s to being a mother and getting to deal with shit, piss and puke!


Now once the little one is up I’m going to have to air the smell of gut rotted milk… any suggestions?

About vanitymom

I'm here to talk about not only the joys of motherhood but also the (not so much joys) of living in a high society world that you're judged upon your looks... where I live you need to be a 7 to gain beach access, an 8 to walk around half naked in the summertime and atleast a 9 to hold your head up high. I'm Vanity Mom. I will be talking about things such as parenting (of course) beauty tips for moms, exercise, and eating healthy... all while doing this with a kid biting the hell out of your leg because he's teething.
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