The Car Wash Meltdown

Got my car washed… was it worth it? In a word, no. It was a beautiful sun shining day out and hubby and I along with the rest of the city decided they wanted a car wash. I was so sick and tired of our child touching the dirty car when he gets in that I had to get it washed (before having a kid I could have cared less, cars get dirty and cleaning the exterior is NOT worth $10 when I can do it myself.) I think the worst part is that after my child touches the car he has a tendency to do one of the following: stick his hand on his mouth, rub his face, touch his mother, or rub it on his newly washed clothes.

Back to the story, so we wait in line. In the old days this would have been perfect time for a hot and steamy make-out session with the hubster, but not anymore, now we’re trying to entertain a child who has suddenly grown bored in his car seat. We look to get out of the line but we are committed now, we can’t back up and there’s a cement barrier on either side of the car… and so we entertain, we sing songs, turn up the music, bob our heads, make faces, and after 5 minutes of that I’m dangling necklaces and chains in front of my son. In any other situation he would have taken them and hovered over them like a Golem saying “precccciiiious.” No, not today, that would be too easy. My husband and I share that look which says “remember the days where we could get a friggan carwash without a kid screaming in the back?” While we’re at it remember when gas prices were under a dollar per litre and it cost $20 to fill up instead of the damnable $60 that it costs now!

Finally we get into the carwash, our son freaks out like he’s being attacked by ninja’s. We try to get him to settle down by acting excited “oooh look at all the water!” We cheer, “look at the soap! The car needs soap to get clean just like you! Oh here comes the wax, look at all the pretty colors!” By the end we both have an annoyed miserable look on our faces as our child continues to scream bloody murder. I look at my husband and say “I can’t wait until he’s older and enjoys carwashes, then I can tell him that he screamed like an idiot during them and he can feel stupid about his actions.” I’m pretty sure by the time my child gets married and thinks of having kids of his own his mother will have talked him out of it as she reminisces about her time as a parent where she couldn’t sit on the toilet in peace, eat a full meal, or keep her house clean for more than 20 minutes at a time.

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About vanitymom

I'm here to talk about not only the joys of motherhood but also the (not so much joys) of living in a high society world that you're judged upon your looks... where I live you need to be a 7 to gain beach access, an 8 to walk around half naked in the summertime and atleast a 9 to hold your head up high. I'm Vanity Mom. I will be talking about things such as parenting (of course) beauty tips for moms, exercise, and eating healthy... all while doing this with a kid biting the hell out of your leg because he's teething.
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