The Toilet

I was actually having a conversation with a friend of mine who’s little boy is a few months younger than my own son, when she mentioned that her son was now at the age of getting into the toilet paper I couldn’t help but laugh about it (haven’t we all been there and done that… and if you’re a new mother get ready because it’ll happen to you too)


A month ago my child discovered the magical instrument in the bathroom also known as the toilet, to adults we see it as a depository for feces, urine, and other such pleasantries (like when mommy goes to wine fest and takes it as a challenge to visit and sample 40 different wineries.) To a child it’s a mystical oasis which is fit for bath toys as well as splashing around, even better about this porcelain artifact is that when you’re done playing with the water you can flush it and watch it go down the hole. I was fine with the continuous flushing but when my child decided washing his hands with toilet water was acceptable it was time to stop things right then and there.


My husband and I looked into a variety of different toilet locks, many in a price range that I wouldn’t consider purchasing something that was going to keep me OUT of anything, padlocks are cheap… any baby proofing mechanism can run $20- $60. When I once considered getting plastic sleeves for the tables corners I found 4 for $20, I weighed the idea of buying a foam pool noodle and simply slicing it into pieces and sticking bright pink/purple/ or blue foam around everything. In the end my child has yet to smash himself off any of the end tables for coffee tables. Anyways back to the toilet lock, I found these things were either too easy to unlock to the point where my son would have them figured out in a day or they were too damn hard for his mother to use, when I’ve gotta go I’ve gotta go… I’m talking just drank a large McDonalds Iced Coffee running up the stairs with child in one arm, wearing stiletto’s, dodging over toys to have a piece of plastic stop me in my tracks, heck I’d use the sink.


So after much considering hubby simply took a 25lb dumbbell and placed it on top of the toilet, this way Vanity Mom can pump iron while she’s using the john… its not like there’s much modesty left in you anyways when you have a kid at your feet while you’re trying to do your business anyway.


About vanitymom

I'm here to talk about not only the joys of motherhood but also the (not so much joys) of living in a high society world that you're judged upon your looks... where I live you need to be a 7 to gain beach access, an 8 to walk around half naked in the summertime and atleast a 9 to hold your head up high. I'm Vanity Mom. I will be talking about things such as parenting (of course) beauty tips for moms, exercise, and eating healthy... all while doing this with a kid biting the hell out of your leg because he's teething.
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