It Does Get Quieter

…it just takes a few years.

Hey mom’s… don’t think that the constant child needing your full attention is going to last forever. I promise a day will come where you child is old enough and independent enough that they don’t need to be in your line of sight to survive. That the golden silence that you crave will come and that nothing will be wrong, that your child will be playing quietly on their own.

There will come a day where you can sleep in, where even if your child wakes up early you can trust them to do their own thing without destroying the house or being unsafe.

You will be capable of having a day where you can physically be in your house with your child and simply do nothing and relax and enjoy some peace.

That’s what I did today; I’m exhausted from meetings this week at work, beyond the full moon delight that seems to put children in moods that make you suddenly believe that lycanthrophy is a real thing.  Last Saturday I was in a course for nearly 9 hours and last Sunday I had a day of running errands and getting things done. Today I said to hell with it and I made it a me day. I didn’t bother getting dressed, I had a nice long bath, a read, a played on my phone and all the while my son played quietly on his own and it’s been blissful.

You can do this too, do it and don’t feel guilty about it. You’re not neglecting your child by wanting some time to yourself, they’re allowed to play on their own and be left to their own devices without you entertaining them for the day. In fact it’s good for the both of you, so don’t forget that a well rested mom is a much more patient mom.

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New Year New Vanity

2013So… in 2015 I became a closet alcoholic, I also began incredibly horrible food and even though I jumped on the treadmill my weekends consisted of drinking after my son went to bed. I was at a loss, even more so when my grandfather died and I had suddenly lost my grandmother (whom is still alive but will never be the same person.) I was unhappy that our hope to sell our town home which seemed to shrink daily wasn’t going to happen as it was worth spit and we would lose quite a bit of money on it. Drinking and eating like crap on the weekends and “working out” became a balance which kept me from being 300lbs.

2016 came into play and we started renovating our kitchen with my dad’s help. A job that was supposed to take 3 weeks turned into 3 months… when your kitchen is torn apart and everything has pretty much been moved into the dining room you tend to eat out a lot. Since I still had my fridge I still had wine to consume as the stress of my house being torn apart drove me insane. Of course as the kitchen continued to be torn apart it took up  more of the family room which is  where the workouts happened, the couches that had to be moved to the sides no longer moved and I merely did meager workouts on the treadmill as I refused to bulge up and wanted to stay in shape. Yes I was in “shape” but I’m sure my liver was dying. Upon putting renovations first, listing and selling and packing the pounds packed on. 15lbs to be exact which seemed to make themselves very apparent.

Upon moving into our new house which is twice the size hubby and I actually have a room that has been set up as a gym. It’s sole purpose is for working out. It has a door so there’s no 6 year old running around and sharing the space, it has a tv for dvd workouts and more equipment than I know what to do with. Now that we are settled and the craziness of the holidays are over it’s time to physically shed the 2 years of stress weight that I’ve put on and get back to being healthy.

My goals are simple, I have a fitbit that helps track everything so I want to workout 5 times a week.

I want to hit 10,000 step every day (which 99% of the time isn’t an issue.)

I need to drink more water (and less of everything else.)

I want to be back at a healthy 125lbs by May/June.



Posted in Fitness, Health, Uncategorized, working out | Leave a comment

Wow It’s Been So Long!

I know right? Where did I go? What happened?

Well… let’s look at what happened in life.

Hubby went back to school to get training to become a heavy equipment operator.

We both left our jobs that were making us incredibly unhappy, we now work better hours and make more money and all in all are happier people.

2015 was the worst year ever.

My best friend in the entire world moved away (along with her husband and little girl.) This left myself and my kiddo incredibly devastated as we both lost our best friend. Since we were neighbors I dealt with having to walk past their place every day and my son asking where aunty and his cousin were.

My grandfather became ill and was hospitalized, as this time my son ended up with pneumonia and I couldn’t go see him for a week because I didn’t want to get him sick. Furthermore once we were better I began visiting him twice a day to spend time with him. After a botched surgery and hospital screw ups there was no way to deny he was dying.

At this time there was mold found in my son’s room which became a 3 month dramatic disaster involving strata and a restoration company who further messed up the room so we had our son sleeping in our room on a cot since the wall was half take out of his (did I mention this was about mid February?)

My grandfather’s condition worsened, we said goodbye at the hospital and thought he was going to pass… he didn’t. He was moved to hospice which was a few blocks down from my house. My mother was an absolute wreck (as was my grandmother) so my uncle and I took up spending time with him in the hospice. My son visited him a few times but as his condition became worse the visits stopped happening. My grandfather passed away 5 days before my son’s 5th birthday.

His birthday was lack luster as we took him to a large tourist trap 2 towns over which had tons of dinosaurs around the playground. He was so happy but considering it was the day after my grandfather’s funeral the feeling was rather dull. The family put on a good show for him. This was the end of April 2015

Kindergarten came and to my luck my son got an out of this world kindergarten teacher who was my savior. She understood that he was an out of the box child and embraced and loved him for all his unique attributes. From making zombie teddy bears to wanted to be a special FX artist where all the other kids wanted to be doctors or mommy’s she immersed herself and encouraged his individuality.

2016 was the year of renovations. I had told my husband that if I had to have another Christmas in the townhouse we were in that I would stab myself (I wasn’t kidding.) The market was finally on the rise so we started the super annoying process of gutting and renovating the townhouse in hopes that we could get out of there as the strata was going to absolute hell to the point that we were concerned with a possible $5,000 levi hanging over our heads to fix the building. We re-did the entire kitchen, bathrooms, and re-painted the entire house.

Late July 2016 the market had finally picked up and we listed the place… it sold in 4 days and on the day it sold we found our dream home for the price that was right. Then came the process of moving (which was no fun at all.)

September 19 2016 we were moved into our new house and deeply concerned for our child’s well being as for the past few months he had been suffering stomach and headaches. He had been back and forth to the doctor nearly every week with continuous blood tests that didn’t give us any answers. In the end it was merely the stress of the house being torn apart, packing, and moving… thank goodness.

I now sit here today in my new home typing this as I had completely forgotten The Vanity Mom blog.

In the next while I’ll re-account everything that I’ve gone through with my son and husband in detail. From loss, depression, hopelessness, loneliness, to how I dealt with a million and one questions about death, to renovating with a child running around the house like crazy and much more.

I am happy to be back and writing again.



Posted in Kids Are Weird, Little Boys, Parenting, Venting | Leave a comment

Big Changes, First Week Of Daycare.

I have been away for a while, my family was hit with some very hard news and it seems that big decisions and choices had to be made all around… this came of course right as I took on a second job from home doing online programming.

It was kiddo’s first official week of daycare, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are his days, daddy will be picking him up early on the days that he has early shift. I had felt wracked with guilt, suddenly I have time to myself to work in peace, which makes me feel horrible to think about “working in peace” without my child but it’s something I need to do in order to get work done. There are all of these stay at home mothers whom dote on their children, they nurture them with every bit of their very being and I was simply not able to do that because we can’t financially afford it. The first day I dropped him off I felt horrible, I busied myself with cleaning the house in an insane amount of time and then set to work. The guilt changed when I picked him up and he didn’t want to leave, it lessened when during our snuggle time before bed he told me in such an excited tone everything he had done at daycare that day, it was even better the next morning when he bounded into my room saying “mommy I get to go to daycare today!”

The way I look at it is this will do him good, I do not have the means to be able to socialize him with other children, to teach him the way he’s being taught there, to have him out and about and doing other activities, crafts, painting, story time, parks, playgrounds and still be able to work. I’m now okay with this because even in this week alone I have noticed such an improvement in his listening, that there’s a schedule to things now, a process and routine of how things are done and it’s wonderful.

So all in all, this is good. I can’t look at it that I am failing my son because I can’t be at home. He now has a safe place to go where he can interact with other children his age, where he can play and learn, where he can be challenged and still have fun, and I am now making more money to be able to secure a better future for this family.

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Revenge On My Teen? Not Likely.

tillnoonI woke up this morning to my darling son quite literally trying to pry my eyelids open as he yelled “Good morning mommy! I’m up, time for you to get up!” I really wish I was a morning person, I wish I was excited to be up as early as he is. I can’t just jump out of bed and be like “yeah let’s party with your stuffed animals, watch Thomas, and do the hokey pokey all day!” Instead I moaned, groaned, told him “mommy needs 5 more minutes” which resulted in being jumped on relentlessly as he squealed for me to get up which I did begrudgingly.

My mother tells me that I can get revenge when he’s a teenage and be up at the crack of dawn… in fact my mother did that with me… I remember 9 am and the vacuum going on downstairs as I swore under my breath and put the pillow over my head. I remember some very nasty words as she’d come into my room at 10 and start cleaning.

My thoughts on this? If I live to see him as a teenager who wants to sleep till noon, I’m damn well going to sleep till noon too because by that time I’m going to REALLY need my sleep.

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I Just Can’t Win

Black%20OliveI complain about my child’s eating habits… buy time buttery caramel popcorn in hopes of him getting some extra calories, I stock the pantry with crackers, cookies, granola bars… and when I ask him what he wants for a snack he turns to me and says “black olives” and then finishes off an entire can.

I just can’t win.

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Tall Tales… Just Wash Your Fruit.

fruitI’ve found in my time being a mother it’s one thing to offer advice, it’s another to make up totally tall tales about the lesson at hand. The lesson was to wash my fruit before I give it to my son (duh.) This was a no brainer and I always rinse my fruit whether it states that it’s been pre-washed or not.

Of course I get a certain family member telling me that she had a friend whose daughter had strawberries that weren’t washed who ended up in the ER and died because of it. With that said I’m starting to believe she knows a lot of people with dead children *rolls eyes* since this happened locally I figured there would have been a write up done about it but I’m rather sure such a thing didn’t happen.

Yes, as a parent I understand there are certain precautions that need to be taken but when offering advice it’s a little drastic to be like “I knew someone who lost a child because…” It’s stressful enough having a child that you’re only trying to do right by, adding over dramatized advice only adds to the stress.

Long story short, wash your fruit and veggies before you give them to your kids… not because they’re going to end up in the ER… but more likely because if they end up with a nasty stomach ache you’re going to be the one dealing with the nasty consequences.

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